Monday, May 27, 2013

In the Fields

Painting by Harald Boehm, an artist born in 1965 in Bensheim
On Saturday, the cold and rain halted long enough for us to take a long bike ride (and rollerblade) through the villages -- Lorsch, Heppenheim, Bilbis, etc. - and fields of Bensheim. We knew that Sunday would follow with unending rain, so the sun that poured onto our shoulders was a welcome relief. 

Tina flew along on her rollerblades, happy with the sun and the wind. I followed along but stopped often to appreciate streams, horse farms, stray cats, a birds flying overhead, graveyards, and the fields of grain. We couldn't decide if the grain was rye or barley, but it seemed soft enough to hold us for a nap. And the rapeseed (from which canola oil is derived) bloomed all around with yellow flowers.

On one of our stops, Tina said that when she was a girl growing up in Moers, she'd often grab her rollerblades or bike and disappear for hours in the fields around her town. I can imagine now how comforting that must have been and how easy it was to get happily lost so close to home.

Nature heals. No matter where I am living - Charleston, Tennessee, Columbia, Atlanta, or Bensheim - being outside makes me feel peaceful and alive.


Thursday, May 23, 2013

Simple Beginnings

Friends and family are swimming in Atlanta - literally. They wear shorts and t-shirts, picnic at Piedmont Park, and have pizza parties outside under the trees to celebrate the end of the school year.

Here in Bensheim, however, it's 50 degrees and raining (again). Tina and I hope to climb the Kirchberg this evening, and I expect we will press on regardless of the weather. A true-ism about Germans -- weather? what weather? -- come rain, come shine, come blizzard, come high winds and storms...we walk! It's actually quite nice.

When you are in relationship with a German person for several years, have traveled to her home country a few times, immersed yourself in a German family life, and have learned the language with devotion, you might be tempted to think that you have a  pretty good grasp on German culture. Enter Bensheim. Wow. Ich bin ein Kind hier! So as a child, I have broken down my initial observations in simple form: the important B's.

BIKES -- We are not in Amsterdam, but to a car-obsessed American we might as well be. Why drive when you can bike? And you must have gear: a seriously fortified bike lock, a second lock contraption on the wheel, a basket or rack for whatever you tote, a bell, and for various necessities such as a wet seat (see above), you have bags. That brings me to...

BAGS -- Plastic bags, canvas bags, camping bags, backpacks, school bags, hand bags, lunch bags, bread bags, bags for your shoes, bags for your fruit and vegetables, bags for your bags. Need I say more?

BREAD -- The French have nothing on the Germans in this category. German bread is dense and has gravitas. It's fresh, natural, and prolifically available.

BABIES & BUGGIES -- In 2012, Germany had the second lowest birth rate in Europe. So when babies are born here, it's a BIG deal. Amongst other things, what follows are generous family leave policies, a preponderance of wooden handmade toys and organic baby food, and the opportunity to travel in style in a top of the line baby buggy.

BANKS -- Everything is online here, but that doesn't mean one can just get an account. In common German fashion, one must show this and that document, stand in this and that line, and pace through this and that step in order to be verifiable. 

As I learn, Germans are highly procedural but not legalistic. And once it's done, it's simple and fantastic. It's true for the immigration system, for education, for registering as a citizen, for daily life. The United States seems quite the opposite: highly legalistic (you are in, you are out, this is okay, that is not okay, do this, don't do that, be this, don't be that, etc.) but not highly procedural.

Today I met Sophia, who is from Finland. Her husband is Egyptian. They have two children, and have lived in Germany for 13 years. Tomorrow morning I will go to Sophia's German class at the Casalenguas to see if it's a good fit for me.

Outside of the Sprachschule building, I asked her why they chose to live here. She said that her father is German, and she wanted to be close to him in Bensheim. Will she ever go back to Finland? I asked. "No," she said. "My work is here. My children and husband are here. Their school is here. Our home is here. Your life is where your family is."

I am thankful to be more fully in my life now. So glad we are together, and eagerly look forward to Gavin's arrival soon.





Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Arrived: Union in Europe

Gavin and Tina in Czech Republic, 2012  
...and so begins the adventure of life in Bensheim, Germany.

When my German partner, Tina, couldn't secure an H1B visa (not for lack of opportunity but for lack of reason and fair-mindedness on the part of the U.S. Immigration system), we made the decision to move to her home country.  Since 2009, Tina, our young son Gavin, and I have lived rootlessness and the deep uncertainty that accompanies it. Building a family is beautiful and delicate business, which requires constancy and time. Saying goodbye incessantly doesn't help.  And so as other families across the United States who are unable to marry as a same sex couple, we have for now chosen union in Europe over disunion in the U.S.

Bensheim is a town of 40,000 people, located a short drive from cities such as Frankfurt, Mannheim, Darmstadt, Lorsch, Worms, and Heidelberg. It sits along the Western edge of a pastoral area called the Odenwald, which is a wine-rich region of castles, rolling hills, and tiny villages strung together along the Bergstrasse (mountain road). As I've read, our city dates back as far as the mid 700s AD. I am from South Carolina, and have lived in the deep South of the U.S. all my life. The age of Bensheim is difficult to comprehend.

I'm an American in Bensheim. Over the next eight months, I'll let you know how it goes. I'm already two days into the journey and have lots of share. Bis bald!